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  1. Jennifer Muller says:

    Beautiful. As a widow who just spent my third birthday and Christmas without my husband (10 days apart) I was so thankful for the “God with us”ness of Emmanuel. But as the blog said, sometimes you need people—God with skin.

    On my birthday I was disappointed with the people who love me, and more disappointed with myself for feeling it so strongly. I share this to maybe encourage someone else. Jesus was so present all day, but still… I cried, “Jesus I’m so sorry, I want you to be enough.”

    His response was immediate. “Could you not watch with me for one hour?” His words to his friends in Gethsemane. This spoke two things to me: first, Jesus,was in perfect communion with the Father, yet in his humanity, still needed the connection with people. Second, he was disappointed. His friends let him down. A text – I’m thinking of you, how are you today,

    Emmanuel met me in my need and put a stop to any thoughts of self-condemnation.

    With that said… Anything that conveys “I see you,” “you are not alone,” or “you are not forgotten,” will be well received. A card would be nice. Texts were appreciated, especially from my friend who was away on vacation with her family. “Happy birthday. Are you doing ok?”

    In the middle of Christmas festivities, acknowledgement of the thought that I may not be feeling so merry means a lot. Understanding I might need tidings of comfort, not just joy, goes a long way.

    1. Jennifer Muller says:

      Hah please ignore the text comment after Jesus’ response to me. I was typing on my phone and thought I misplaced a comment somewhere. Of course I couldn’t find it til after I hit send!

      1. mel chitwood says:

        Thank you for sharing so genuinely from your heart. And I’m sorry you are hurting. Yes, some hurts seem to go away a bit and then quickly return. I especially appreciate your specific suggestions. A friend is newly widowed – in October – and this will help me be Immanuel to her.

        1. Jennifer Muller says:

          Melanie thank you for your desire to be there for your friend. People don’t know how, and in their worry of saying or doing the wrong thing, many do nothing. Any attempt, no matter how clumsy, will be appreciated.

          She may actually seem somewhat ok right now. It took a good 6 months for the numbness (I called it a bubble of grace) to wear off. I was a hot mess! I needed more support then than I did in the beginning.

          I would caution you, though, not to overcommit. Ask God what He would have you do. He may have a specific job for you, or may ask you to do something crazy.

          At my moment of greatest need, my best friends all took a step back—because they were listening. God didn’t want them to catch me. As hard as it was at the time, as lonely and isolated as I felt, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Because guess what? God caught me.

    2. The tenderness of Jesus in what you shared brings tears to my eyes, Jennifer. I praise Him that there is no condemnation in Him and that He is the lover of our souls! Thank you for sharing and reminding all of us to lift our eyes watch for ways to reach out to hurting friends.

      1. Jennifer Muller says:

        Amen Amy. He is so faithful.

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